


Used to You

by goodgonebetter



Series: RvB Red Team Week [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Simmons misses Grif, Sort of break up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-13 11:30:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11184198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodgonebetter/pseuds/goodgonebetter
Summary: Simmons was used to falling asleep and waking up next to Grif. What is he going to do now that he isn't around?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm super late to this but this is another fic for Red Team week! Enjoy!

Simmons had always been an early riser. Before he joined the military, the strict rules of his house forced him to be up just after dawn. It was something he never seemed to grow out of, even with the stress that had become his life. After he became a cyborg, it was even easier to wake up early since his body didn’t need as much sleep. Only Sarge and Lopez woke up earlier than him, but he was pretty sure that’s because neither of them actually slept. Either way, they were usually building or breaking something, so Simmons rarely saw them in the morning.

That meant that he had plenty of time on the base to himself. He usually stayed out of his armor during this time because he was pretty sure no one would attack so early.

He was currently nursing a hot cup of coffee and playing a puzzle game on a tablet while he waited for the rest of the base to wake up. Normally he’d make a light breakfast or just eat and MRE but today he just didn’t feel like it. Instead he was craving something sweet. Unfortunately, the Reds never kept anything sweet in the base. Well, except Grif. The man somehow always had a snack cake or candy bar at the ready. But he was also never known to share with anyone.

Simmons drank the rest of his coffee and put the tablet down. He could always just eat something and let this craving pass.

_Or I could just swipe something from Grif._ He thought to himself. It would probably be easy too, considering that Grif slept like the dead. Simmons could get in and out and his teammate would be none the wiser.

He put the mug in the sink and started walking over to their rooms. He didn’t bother being extra stealthy since no one else would be awake to hear him.

He opened the door to Grif’s room and grimaced. The room was dirty, as usual. Random trinkets and posters were everywhere, along with dirty clothes and empty wrappers on the floor. If Simmons was a good friend, he’d offer to help Grif clean up and free some space. But he wasn’t, and he just wanted something sweet.

Simmons knew exactly where Grif kept his sweets, in the dresser door right next to his bed. As he walked over, he looked over at Grif to make sure he was still asleep. The Hawaiian was sprawled out on the bed on his stomach, covered with a thin sheet. His exposed shoulders told the red head that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and he was really hoping that Grif didn’t sleep naked.  He was facing the wall and his long hair was up in a top bun. He looked…kind of cute.

_What the hell?_ Simmons caught himself staring and shook his head. _Focus_

He took another step towards the dresser but accidently stepped on a bottle. The crinkling sound shocked him so bad that he floundered and fell back, landing right on Grif’s bed. Grif shuffled around behind him and Simmons was ready to bolt when an arm wrapped around him and pulled him into Grif’s chest.

His first thought was that Grif was going to smother him to death for trying to steal his snacks and he was ready to embrace death. Then he realized that Grif was still asleep, his breath still calm and even. He was holding Simmons in a tight grip at an awkward angle so Simmons shifted around so they were both lying the same way.

Grif made a happy noise in his sleep and started cuddling Simmons from behind. The red head was absolutely mortified but there wasn’t much that he could do. Grif was bigger and stronger than him and waking him up meant revealing why he was here in the first place. So he decided to wait it out until he was able to wrestle out of his grip.

Being next to Grif wasn’t actually as unpleasant as Simmons thought. The other man smelled like tropical fruit (probably thanks to all the hair products he used) and was really warm. Simmons felt comfortable and safe in his hold and that just made the whole thing worse. Grif’s warm breath on the back of his neck made his mind feel all fuzzy. He shut his eyes and tried to think of anything but how much he could get used to this. Simmons was so focused that he didn’t realize that Grif was waking up behind him.

“Simmons? What the hell?”

“Grif! I uh…well I…” Simmons didn’t know what to say and Grif’s arm still being around him had him freaking out. “I had a nightmare!” _Richard Simmons you are by far the biggest idiot in the entire galax-_

“Well, at least wake me up before you hop in my bed.”

“S-sorry… I’ll leave.”

“You don’t have to. I’m actually kind of comfy right now.” Grif’s deep, sleepy voice was seriously about to send Simmons over the edge. But, he decided to just roll with it.

“Thanks Grif…”

“Don’t mention it.” Grif was mumbled, cuddling up behind him again. Simmons relaxed, letting himself get comfortable. He wasn’t sleepy at all, but it felt good to just relax in the warmth that was Grif.

_I could get used to this._

* * *

 

**Years, battles, and confessions later**

“Are you going to come to bed or not?” Grif was already reclined in their shared bed. Simmons was sitting on his desk, playing that dumb puzzle game. Since their retirement after Chorus, he had started to enjoy the little things again.

“Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled, getting up and sitting in bed, tablet still in hand.

“You’re obsessed with that game.”

“Shut up Grif.”

“Come on.” Grif pulled the tablet out of his hands and turned it off, all while Simmons whined for him to return it.

“It’s late and I’m tired.” He laid down and got comfy under the blankets, pulling Simmons down beside him. He went without a fight, cuddling into his warm hold.

“You remember that time you woke up and I was in your bed?”

“Gonna have to be more specific.” Grif muttered, resting his head on the chest in front of him. Simmons wrapped his arms around Grif, kissing the top of his head.

“The first time.”

“Oh, yeah.” Grif’s voice was a little muffled but Simmons could tell that he was falling asleep already.

“I didn’t actually have a nightmare. I was trying to steal one of your candy bars.”

Grif laughed, a low rumble that warmed Simmons up all over.

“Duh, dude.”

“What? You knew?”

“You’re kind of loud Simmons. I woke up as soon as you walked into my room.” Simmons couldn’t believe it, lightly smacking the back of his head.

“So you grabbed me on purpose?!”

“Yep.”

“Ugh, you’re a jerk.”

“Love you too.” Grif said it so nonchalantly but it made Simmons feel a little light headed. He whined and changed their positions so he was the one resting his head on Grif’s chest, hiding away in his warmth.

“Love you.” He mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up.

They were quiet for some time but neither of them wanted to go to sleep before the other.

“Grif?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we going to be okay?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Like…How long is this retirement thing going to last before some other shit happens?”

“I’m holding out for forever. I’m done…”

“Yeah, me too.” Simmons leaned up just enough to kiss Grif who kissed back happily.

“Goodnight Grif.”

“Night Simmons.”

* * *

 

**Temple’s Underwater Base**

Simmons woke up with a start, fighting out of a dream that he couldn’t remember. He sat up in a cold sweat, breathing hard. With a hand on his chest he tried to gain some control over himself. His heart rate went down slowly and his tense body relaxed.

His free hand went out to search for Grif, looking for comfort. A few seconds later he came to his senses and realized that Grif wasn’t there. Grif quit. Grif stayed and Simmons left with everyone else.

Something about Temple’s and the other Blues and Reds’ base made him nervous. He hated being around his double and pretty much everyone else but being alone was even worse. Simmons looked around the small room he was sharing with Caboose. The young Blue wasn’t in his bed on his side of the room though, but that was kind of common. Caboose was usually up at random hours of the night so he would probably return later.

Simmons slipped out from under the blankets and let his bare feet hit the floor. The cold sent a shiver through his body and helped him wake up.

“Simmons?”

He turned towards the door to see Caboose walking in with a glass of water. He was in a shirt and shorts, black curls tousled from sleep.

“Hey Caboose.”

“Are you okay Simmons?”

The red head turned back and covered his face with his hands.

“No.”

Caboose walked over and sat down beside him, drinking up his water.

“Thinking about Grif?”

Simmons didn’t answer, whining into his hands. Caboose was the only one that ever mentioned Grif, always attempting to comfort Simmons.

“I used to have bad dreams about Church when he left. And when he left again. And-“

“So why do you still want to help him? Aren’t you afraid that he’s just going to leave again?”

“Church is my best friend! That’s what best friends do.” Caboose said easily, smiling that big, dorky smile. Simmons sat up, looking at him. His body was trembling and he just wanted to sleep and disappear but he really just wanted Grif back.

“Wouldn’t you save Grif if he called for help?” Caboose asked, staring at Simmons. Sometimes Caboose stare was unsettling but Simmons was too tired and upset to care.

“Grif doesn’t care about me. He quit all of us.”

“Well, I guess that’s kind of true. But I think he cares about you.”

“What makes you say that? We have been fighting with each other since before we met you.”

“You talk about Grif a lot. You think about him even more. I bet he thinks about you just as much.”

“Whatever.” Simmons sniffed, trying not to let Caboose’s words affect him. He wanted to be angry at Grif for abandoning them.

“We’ll see Grif again soon.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Church comes back. He always does. And you love Grif, so he’ll come back too.”

Simmons put his face back in his hands again, letting out a sob.

“Simmons?”

“Wh-what?”

“I’m not Grif, but I give good hugs. Would you like a hug?”

Simmons didn’t hesitate, falling over into Caboose arms. He cried out, hiding his tears in Caboose’s shoulder. The other man just hummed, hugging him tight. Caboose was strong, probably stronger than Grif. But being in his hold felt different, even wrong. Still, he didn’t let go until he was all cried out. Caboose didn’t seem to mind, patting his back.

“It’s okay Simmons. Grif will come back.”

Simmons hoped and prayed that Caboose was right.

He didn’t want to get used to not being with Grif.


	2. Just Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why can't things be good and stay good?!" - Dexter Grif

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter got a lot sadder than I meant for it to be. Please enjoy though!

**Retirement Moon**

Grif often found himself lying awake during odd hours of the day. He figured that because he took all those naps, his body thought he only needed a few hours at a time. Not completely inaccurate, but annoying nonetheless.

He was currently staring at the ceiling, thinking about what he was going to eat when breakfast came. Now that he had the time to actually cook, he had started making some of his old favorites. The joys of retirement.

Curled up by his side was Simmons, still fast asleep. He looked so peaceful that Grif didn’t want to move and wake him up. They had been together for a while now, but only recently did they give in and move into one room together. Grif was sure that the reason why it had taken so long was because Simmons hated the cluttered space that came with Grif. He never threw anything away and it drove the red head up the wall all the times.

But Grif had always been like that. Once he had something it was hard to let go for any reason. He wanted to call it an old habit but it was probably a lot more than that.

Simmons was understanding though, and stopped pestering him to change once he got used to it. They had an agreement that one half would be for Simmons well organized, mostly minimalist space and the other half would be for Grif to do with as he pleased. Grif was happy that Simmons’ finally “moved in” with him. It made their relationship feel…real. Like what they had was actually going to last.

“Mm..awake already?” Simmons’ sleepy voice pulled Grif from his thoughts.

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep.” The red head yawned and moved closer, resting his head on Grif’s chest. Grif wrapped one arm around him and kissed the top of his head.

“Good morning.”

Simmon’s response was muffled from where he had his face pressed in Grif’s shirt. He wasn’t complaining though, he would gladly be Simmon’s pillow for as long as he wanted him to be.

“I forgot how awesome it was to not be under threat of dying every day.” Simmons said after turning his head. His hand found Grif’s and they interlaced their fingers.

“Same. Retiring is awesome.” He kissed the back of his boyfriend’s hand and smiled. “You’re pretty awesome too.”

“Yeah, you’re okay too Grif.” Simmons laughed, sitting up just enough to kiss his cheek.

“That’s not what you were saying last night.” Grif took pride in still being able to make Simmons blush bright red after all this time.

“Don’t be gross Grif!” He grumbled before rolling out of bed and heading towards the bathroom.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I’m taking a shower!”

“Got room for one more?”

* * *

 

Grif didn’t have nightmares often. Instead, he’d find his head filled with so much terrifying stuff that he just couldn’t sleep at all. Tonight, he was thinking about his last encounter with the Meta. It had been so long ago but the memory was still fresh in his mind. It wasn’t the fall itself that freaked him out the most. It was remembering that hand wrapped around his ankle and tried to pull him down. If he let himself think about it he could sometimes still feel the huge hand grabbing at him.

He could remember Simmons trying desperately to hang on to him. He could remember slipping out of his grip. Even as he laid in bed, it freaked him out.

“Grif? Are you okay? You’re shaking…”

“Sorry…Just thinking.” He sat up with a loud sigh. Simmons sat up beside him and laid his head on his shoulder. One hand was on his back, rubbing circles on his skin.

“Wish my brain would just stop sometimes.” Grif turned to looked at Simmons. The red head was obviously tired but his face also looked worried. Normally it was Simmons that had to be comforted in the middle of the night. Whether it be pain from his cyber parts or a nightmare about snakes, Simmons was the cause of most of their late night talks. So when it was Grif’s turn, he always felt bad. Like he was burdening the red head even more.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I hate seeing you like this. Is..is there anything I can do?”

Grif gripped his hand and put it over his chest.

“Just be here?”

“I’m here Grif, I’ll always be here.” Simmons leaned in and kissed him all over, leaving a trail of warmth on his skin. Man, this was the life. He found Simmons’ lips in the dark and gave him a kiss that was happily reciprocated.

“I never want to leave this place. For once, everything is going okay. I just wish Kai was here…”

“I’m sure she’s okay. And she knows her big brother is a hero.”

Grif didn’t answer, just squeezed Simmons’ hand a little bit tighter. He hoped he was right.

“Hey Simmons?”

“Yeah Grif?”

“If this thing lasts a couple years, we should get married.”

“Wh-what?!” Even in the dark, Grif could tell that Simmons was thrown off by the statement and was probably blushing like crazy.

“I’m not saying we elope tomorrow or anything…I mean, you’d marry me eventually, wouldn’t you?”

Simmons didn’t say anything for a while and Grif caught himself holding his breath. He was about to tell Simmons to forget about it until he heard the other man laugh.

“Of course I’d marry you Grif.”

“You couldn’t answer a little sooner? Almost gave me a heart attack.” They both started laughing, trying to keep quiet so they wouldn’t wake anyone.

“You caught me off guard!” Simmons defended himself. Grif just smiled and kissed his hand a few times.

“God, can you imagine the other’s if we told them we were gonna get married?” Simmons continued, rolling his eyes.

“Are you kidding me? I’m sure Donut already has a wedding scrapbook for us. Sarge has his ‘world’s best grandpa’ shirt at the ready. Tucker will probably just say some stupid shit about cows or something.”

“I can actually see it now. Scary stuff.” Simmons kissed him on more time before laying down and pulling Grif with him.

“Let’s get some sleep.”

Grif agreed and laid down beside him, spooning him from behind. They kept their fingers interlaced as they got comfy.

“Love you Grif.”

“Love you too, night.”

“Good night.”

* * *

 

**After the other Reds and Blues leave**

Grif couldn’t sleep. He had only managed a couple hours a day since everyone left. Since his whole team left. Since Simmons left.

He didn’t regret his choice to quit. In fact, he wished that he had done it sooner. He never asked to be a part of Project Freelancer or get dropped in a civil war. Grif was tired of being thrown around and used as a pawn in someone else’s experiment or war. He was retired for a reason damnit. Going on a hunt for Church was the least appealing thing Grif could think of. That guy didn’t even like him, why risk his life for him again? No, Grif didn’t regret it at all.

It was too quiet now. The building was made with a lot of people in mind. Now that it was down to one, it felt like a mausoleum. When he couldn’t sleep, Grif would walk around until he was exhausted.

He found himself in Sarge’s workshop a lot. He had no idea what any of the metal pieces did, but the clutter made him feel better. He would mess with parts for hours until he couldn’t see straight and fell asleep on one of their couches.

Grif tried to get a hold of his sister, but to no avail. He just needed to see her, talk to her, anything. He was tempted to contact someone on Chorus, but that would leave him answering questions he didn’t want to face.  

He hadn’t slept in his bed since they left. He didn’t even like going into his room now. It was too big for one person, that’s what he told himself.

One night he decided to step inside it, just to grab some stuff. The room was cold. Simmons liked it that way so they never got too hot while cuddling under the blankets. Now it sent chills down Grif’s spine.

He found himself standing in front of the bed, looking at the ruffled blankets and sheets. Simmons would definitely get onto him for not making the bed like he had promised to do that morning. The red head would be angry about a lot of things though. Grif wouldn’t do the dishes, didn’t clean anything, and barely did anything productive at all. But Simmons wasn’t around, so who cares.

_You care, idiot._

Grif turned to the side of the room with all the clutter. He picked up a couple things, getting ready to leave the room. Until his eyes caught an old ring box. He dropped the stuff and picked the box up. He remembered finding the small empty box on Chorus. It wasn’t anything special, but he couldn’t find it in himself to ever throw it away. Now he hated the sight of it. It was just another broken promise in his eyes. All of it was.

Grif threw the box at the wall with all his might. It broke in two with a satisfying crack. He picked up something else, didn’t even look at it before throwing it too. Then he did it again, throwing all his frustration with each item.

Eventually he got tired, crashing in front of the foot of the bed. His face was red and he was trembling again. The room was a mess now. Broken items were everywhere, things were tossed or ripped off the wall.

“Why can’t things be good and stay good?!” He screamed, his voice cracking with a sob.

“Why did that reporter show up with that fucking message?!”

“Why aren’t you here?!” He cried the last question out, hiding his face in his hands. He cried himself out before crawling into his bed. _Their bed._

“Please be okay. Please be okay.” He muttered into his pillows, feeling his exhaustion catching up to him.

“I just need you here…”

He fell asleep clutching Simmons’ favorite pillow, finally getting the rest he so desperately needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! On tumblr it is RvB fluff week, so if you want me to write something, send me a prompt @ https://ajwritesit.tumblr.com/ (you can find all my other info there too) Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all liked it! I'm thinking about doing another chapter with Grif's pov, let me know if you'd like to read it! Also, check out my tumblr for more! It's a new blog but that's where I'll be putting all my fics, drabbles and info. There are also links so you can support me if you'd like! Check it out: https://ajwritesit.tumblr.com/


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